A friend recently asked me to be in her wedding because somehow she thinks I make a good bridesmaid and oh yeah, we have been friends for many years. Little does she know I have Sam Kinison thoughts about these weddings. Anyway, I accepted and am truly honored yet very skeptical. I was comforted by the fact that her wedding would be at a local hotel and no pomposity going on. I believed her to be a really laid back bride. Ha! I get a phone message today that plans have changed and that the wedding will take place during a 7 day cruise to the Caribbean. Let’s not forget the flight from Boston to Florida to the port, the bridesmaid’s dress, the shower, the bachelorette party, etc! Hi, you're such a good friend, please shell out $2000 to be a part of my wedding!

We ordered our dresses from this online site and mine arrived two weeks before the wedding. It shouldn’t have been that bad, because they were just long, black, satin with a V-neck. But when I put the thing on it was enormous, probably a size 16 and I wear an 8. It looked horrible, totally shapeless. The neckline was so loose my boobs were practically hanging out and it looked like I had just sewn a big black sheet around my body. There was no time to send it back and have a new one made and I didn’t know what to do. I sent an email to the other bridesmaids bitching about the dress and how brutal it looked, saying I looked like a big fat cow and complaining about how the company had sent me a dress made for a circus freak. But it turned out that they had screwed up our addresses. They sent me one of the other girl’s dresses and she had mine.

-Suzanne Y.

This past Sunday (March 4th) The New York Times featured Bad Bridesmaid in an article in its Style section. You can read the full article by clicking Here.

The bride devoted a web site to her wedding with a link printed on the engagement announcement. In the "all about us" section, she posted her CV. In her Save-the-Date email ("Sorry I can’t invite all of you, but I wanted to share the happy news!"), she filled six paragraphs with news of her new job, with only a short paragraph to introduce her husband-to-be and announce the date for the wedding.

-Bailey S.

Siri Agrell, author of Bad Bridesmaid appeared on Good Morning America today, February 7th. She also can be heard on Good Morning America Radio throughout the country on XM Satellite Radio.

The bridal party had gone to get our makeup done and the woman who was doing it was about our age, and she said, "You just never know what’s going to happen when someone gets married. You think you’re going to be calm, but then you turn into this control freak." She seemed so nice and sweet, and really funny, but then went on to say, "I kicked out two of my bridesmaids a week before my wedding. My advice is only choose your best friends because if you’re bitchy to them, they’ll forgive you." I was like, why would you choose people to be bitchy to?

-Aubrey R.

My friend insisted that we all wear these dark purple satin bridesmaid dresses even though they made us look like shiny globs of grape jelly, and we all tried to reason with her to no avail. So one girl showed up on the day of the wedding with her dress on a hanger and this huge rip--not even on the seam--just like an enormous tear down the front of the dress and she claimed it had come back from the cleaners like that the night before and that she couldn't possibly wear it and was going to have to sit out of the wedding party. She was really distraught and tearful and talking as though she wished she could still participate but she knew she couldn't expect to stand up for our friend with this big hole in her dress. At first, we thought the bride was going to comfort her and say, "Oh, no it's okay, we'll just cover it with flowers" or something, but she took one look at the dress and just said in this really cold voice, "Fine. You're out." The bridesmaid sobbed off into a bathroom and wouldn't you know it, two hours later she's sitting in a pew wearing this awesome dress, winking at us up on the altar, and later when she was drunk at the reception she told us she had ripped the dress herself because she was so pissed that we were being made to wear them! Unfortunately, word got back to the bride and they are no longer on speaking terms--but really, I think making her friend pay $400 for a grape jelly dress was probably the end of that friendship anyway.

-Georgia L.

I took a week off of work, spent money, money, money on candles that the bride forgot to buy, decorated the hall with fake sunflowers, cooked the vegetarian entree for the wedding, called my sister a fuckface because of the stress level, decorated the cake with fake sunflowers (the cake that the bride forgot to order and that we had to concoct and decorate day of...), sported what known as "pancake makeup" for the certain je ne sais quoi breakfast entree look it's got to it, got to wear fake sunflowers in my hair, carry fake sunflowers down the aisle--and the aisle was a grassy knoll into which my silver strappy sandals sunk with every step, so I looked like I had some sort of jerky palsy. And after all of that, after the dress, that haphazard cake, the sunflowers... the bride forgot to mention my sister and me during wedding party introductions. We cried.

The bride hyperventilated and barfed before the wedding, delaying the process for a half hour, so much so that a groomsman fainted whilst waiting in the heat. They are still married and bought a house. I now detest sunflowers of any kind.

-Kimberly C.